Step One: The foundation for a life of recovery and serenity

After reading Step One in the A.A. Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions for the umpteenth time, I can say I'm pretty ready to move on to Step Two. But I've really enjoyed rereading the same few pages over and over again. It might seem boring to some, but the power of repetition is widely accepted in the marketing world, so why not in the Twelve Step world?

Every time we read Step One, I get a new perspective. New words seem to emerge from the murky background. It's like a window that never shows me the same landscape twice. One day I focus on the fatal nature of my malady, another day what jumps out at me is the idea that admitting my powerlessness is the ticket to a new life. I never know from week to week what nugget will roll out and land at my feet.

My life in Debtors Anonymous has had many unexpected shift and turns. I certainly never expected I would be here today... I didn't think I would be dead, exactly, but I was pretty sure I wouldn't actually feel alive. I'm not sure it's such a blessing to feel alive, but that is a luxury problem found only in the white developed world. Most people don't have time for such selfish introspection. Lucky me, I have the resources to contemplate the wretchedness of my own existence if I want to (and I often do). But I know many people, billions of people, would gladly trade places with me if they could.

My self-obsession knows no bounds. I am powerless over my brain. Today it's less inclined to kill me, I think, because the sun is shining. On the other hand, I have an intergroup meeting in an hour. My character defects surface in glorious fashion during business meetings. Sometimes I can appreciate the humor. Sometimes I get the joke.

More to be revealed. Be well.

—Hope
Compulsive debtor

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"Hope Newlyfound" is an alias for an anonymous member of the program of Debtors Anonymous with twenty years of freedom from incurring unsecured debt (which means no credit cards, credit lines, bouncing checks, paying bills late, and borrowing from friends and family.)

Information about D.A. can be found at the Debtors Anonymous world service website, and locally in the Pacific Northwest at the Oregon intergroup website and the Seattle/Puget sound intergroup website.