I got the debtor blues

cold blue sky and trees that appear dead but might not be

In January, 1995, I realized I had a problem.

Well, lots of problems, really, if I'm being rigorously honest: sour relationships with significant people in my life, a poor sense of self, a mountain of debt ($20,000 seemed like a mountain to me), and a profound and perplexing confusion about earning and spending money.

I wasn't sure what was wrong, except for the mountain of debt, but I was very sure that I deserved better, that I was special, and that problems with money couldn't happen to me.

At the time, all I could think was, how will I ever get out from under this debt?

Little did I know that the debt I had accumulated was simply a symbol of some deeply embedded personal characteristics of which I was completely unaware—but not in that ignorance is bliss kind of way.

I was fortunate to have a friend in Alcoholics Anonymous who knew of a program called Debtors Anonymous (D.A.). My friend took me to my first D.A. meeting in Los Angeles, CA, and thus I embarked on the beginning of a new life.

If you are having problems with money or debt and think that you are a compulsive debtor, chronic overspender, or compulsive underearner, you may find relief and recovery in the program of Debtors Anonymous.

I was told early in recovery that if I want to keep what I've been given, I need to pass it on to others who want what I've received. This blog is a chronicle of my recovery in Debtors Anonymous. Now I live in the Pacific Northwest, where we have a couple local D.A. websites (Portland, Oregon, and Seattle, Washington).

I will endeavor to build on this foundation by sharing as often as possible about what I have learned. There is hope in D.A.

Thanks for letting me share.

—Hope