By Hope Newlyfound (not my real name)
On the second floor of a restored Victorian mansion in
northwest Portland, Oregon, I sit with four people on couches and chairs in a
small sun-filled room. We are members of a Twelve Step program called Debtors
Anonymous, D.A. for short. Several of us attend this weekly meeting
regularly. One person is here for the first time—a newcomer, looking a bit
confused and uncomfortable.
After reciting The Serenity Prayer (a short, generic prayer
borrowed from Alcoholics Anonymous), a woman named Milly reads from the meeting
format.
“Welcome to Debtors Anonymous. Debtors Anonymous offers hope
for people whose use of unsecured debt causes problems and suffering. We come to
learn that compulsive debting is a spiritual problem with a spiritual solution,
and we find relief by working the D.A. recovery program based on the
Twelve-Step principles.
“The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop
incurring unsecured debt. Even if members are not in debt, they are welcome in
D.A. Our Fellowship is supported solely through contributions made by members;
there are no dues or fees.
“Debtors Anonymous is not affiliated with any financial,
legal, political, or religious entities, and we avoid controversy by not
discussing outside issues. By sharing our experience, strength, and hope, and
by carrying the message to those who still suffer, we find joy, clarity, and
serenity as we recover together” (D.A. Welcome, rev. 2017).
Next, we introduce ourselves by first name only. No last
names here: Members are anonymous in D.A.
“I’m Milly, I’m a compulsive debtor.”
The group responds, “Hi, Milly.”
“I’m Claire, compulsive debtor.”
“Hi, Claire.”
“Mike, compulsive debtor.”
“Hi, Mike.”
The newcomer says, “I’m Lily and I don’t know what I am.”
The group replies, “Hi, Lily, welcome.”
I’m the last person. I introduce myself. (“Hi, Hope.”)
The leader begins reading the Twelve Steps of Debtors
Anonymous, which D.A. has adapted with permission from the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics
Anonymous. Instead of being powerless over alcohol, we say we are powerless
over debt.
Debtors Anonymous started in 1968 when a few members from
Alcoholics Anonymous met to discuss their money problems. They began to
understand that their money problems stemmed from the inability to become
solvent—in other words, they couldn’t stop borrowing money. In 1971, “the
essence of the D.A. program unfolded in the discovery and understanding that
the act of debting itself was the threshold of this disease, and the only
solution was to use the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.” Today, there are over 500 registered D.A. meetings in 15 countries, many
telephone meetings, and several Internet groups.
Find a face-to-face D.A. meeting
In some parts of the United States, D.A. groups can exceed 100 people. The largest groups, and the largest number of groups, tend to be in Northern California (the Bay Area), Southern California (Los Angeles), and New York City.
Find a D.A. telephone meeting
In most of the country, though, compulsive debtors have few if any face-to-face D.A. meetings. People seeking recovery from compulsive debting often attend D.A. meetings on conference telephone calls, dialing in from anywhere with a long-distance number and passcode.
In D.A., we call compulsive debting a disease. Compulsive
debting can manifest as overspending, underearning, chronic deprivation, or
other self-destructive financial behaviors. Our goal in D.A. is simple: We try
to avoid incurring new unsecured debt, one day at a time. Unsecured debt is any
debt that is not backed up by some form of collateral, such as a house or other
asset.
“Compulsive debting is a disease. We have found that it is a
disease that never gets better, only worse, as time goes on. It is a disease,
progressive in its nature, which can never be cured but can be arrested. . . . This disease affected our vision of ourselves and of the
world around us. It led us to believe that we were “not enough” – at home, at
work, in social situations, in love relationships. It also led us to believe
that there is not enough out there in the world for us. The disease
manufactured a sense of impoverishment in all that we did and saw. In reaction
to this, we withdrew into a dream world, fretted over money, and avoided
responsibilities.”
Many newcomers are reluctant to identify as compulsive
debtors. When I first got to D.A., I did not want to admit I was powerless over
debt. After some time in the program, I realized that my out-of-control
combination of overspending and underearning repeatedly led me to incurring
unsecured debt.
Partway through the meeting, going around the room one by
one, we share our experiences.
Claire describes a situation involving paying a creditor.
“My brain tells me all I need to do is borrow more money, even though I’m
$30,000 in debt to the IRS. In what rational world is the solution to the
problem doing more of the problem? If I had a credit card, I would use it. I
can’t control myself.”
When Lily’s turn comes to share, she expresses doubt about
whether she belongs. “I’m not sure I’m a compulsive debtor. I have some credit
cards that are close to maxed out. I have a good job, but it is getting harder
to pay the minimums. I haven’t told my husband how much I owe. I hope my father
will help me, but I’m afraid to ask. The last time he bailed me out, he said
‘no more.’”
A few of us groan softly with sympathy, but nobody
interrupts or comments, except to say “Keep coming back” when she is done
sharing.
At my first meeting, I heard people in the group talk about “god”
and “spirituality.” I kept coming back, but hearing about “god” made me
uncomfortable for a long time. I’m not a religious person; fortunately, the literature reassured me that D.A. was not some kind of weird religious cult. “The fellowship
is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization, or
institution.” According to the D.A. website, “our purpose is threefold: to stop incurring
unsecured debt, to share our experience with the newcomer, and to reach out to
other debtors.”
People are debtors if they say they are—nobody in D.A. can
tell newcomers what to do or whether or not they belong here. “D.A. is a
spiritual fellowship based on the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions as adapted from
Alcoholics Anonymous. The essence of the D.A. program is one compulsive debtor
helping another to refrain from incurring unsecured debt, one day at a time.”
It costs nothing to attend a D.A. meeting or join the D.A.
program. “D.A. groups are self-supporting through the contributions of members.” Many meetings are open to anyone interested in learning more about the D.A. program, even people looking for help for a loved one. Some cities have beginners' meetings where newcomers and outsiders can ask questions about the D.A. program.
I found D.A. from a 12-Step friend. Many people
come to D.A. through credit counselors and therapists. Debtors Anonymous has a
policy of “cooperation, not affiliation” with helping professionals. Many D.A.s find some type of credit counseling or mental health counseling helpful.; D.A. has no opinion on outside issues, including therapy and counseling.
Are you a compulsive debtor?
The D.A. website offers some tools to help people determine
if they have a problem with compulsive debting or overspending. Look for the “Fifteen
Questions.” For example, “have you ever borrowed money without giving adequate
consideration to the rate of interest you are required to pay? Do you usually
expect a negative response when you are subject to a credit investigation? Have
you ever developed a strict regimen for paying off your debts, only to break it
under pressure? Do you justify your debts by telling yourself that you are
superior to the 'other' people, and when you get your ‘break’ you’ll be out of
debt overnight?”
You can find other helpful information on the Free Literature webpage.
When I first got to D.A., all I wanted to do is get out of debt, as quickly as possible. Eventually I realized I didn’t incur all my debt overnight, so improving
my financial situation would take time and effort. Recovery begins when we stop
incurring new unsecured debt. When I was new, longtimers told me “Stop digging
the hole deeper.” I had my doubts, but I stopped debting. Eleven years later, I
paid off my last debt. Since then, I have built cash reserves and earned an
advanced degree, paying cash one course at a time. The D.A. program works if
you work it. See you at a meeting soon!
Sources
Debtors Anonymous. Find a Meeting. http://debtorsanonymous.org/getting_started/index.php/find/findameeting
Debtors Anonymous. Find a Telephone Meeting. http://debtorsanonymous.org/getting_started/index.php/find/phone_meeting
Debtors Anonymous. For Helping Professionals. http://www.debtorsanonymous.org/about-da/for-helping-professionals/
Debtors Anonymous. Free Literature. http://www.debtorsanonymous.org/getting-started/free-literature/
Debtors Anonymous. Getting Started. http://www.debtorsanonymous.org/getting-started/da/
Debtors Anonymous. History of Debtors Anonymous. http://www.debtorsanonymous.org/about-da/history/
Debtors Anonymous. Resources for groups. http://www.debtorsanonymous.org/fellowship-services/resources-for-groups/
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"Hope
Newlyfound" is an alias for an anonymous member of the program of Debtors
Anonymous with twenty-two years of freedom from incurring unsecured debt (which
means no credit cards, credit lines, bouncing checks, paying bills late, and
borrowing from friends and family.)
Information
about D.A. can be found at the Debtors Anonymous world
service website, and locally in the Pacific
Northwest at the Oregon intergroup website and the Seattle/Puget sound
intergroup website.
